Models & Tools: Non Violent Communication (NVC)🤝

Let’s explore Nonviolent Communication (NVC), where words are windows, according to Mr. Rosenberg, providing a powerful tool to enhance the quality of interpersonal interactions. Embracing NVC means equipping oneself with a communication method (NVC) that promotes mutual understanding, collaboration and constructive conflict resolution.

Let’s delve into the fundamental principles of NVC for more harmonious relationships 🌟

Source: Dave Bailey

1. O as Observation: Observing without judging 🧐

The first phase of NVC involves observing facts in a neutral and factual manner. Avoid interpretations and judgments, and prefer an objective approach. It’s about impartiality and it requires special attention to reality as it is with no subjective interpretations.

A good way to recognize an observation (vs an interpretation or an opinion) is that the same observation can be made by the other person (e.g., “it is noon” – it’s noon for both of us).

The desired outcome from this phase is about creating a common ground from which both parties can build on.

2. F comme Feelings: Expressing what one feels… Using “I” 🎭

Expression of emotions and feelings is often overlooked. Yet, acknowledging and sharing them creates an atmosphere of authenticity and understanding.

This involves self-awareness about our own emotional states to start with. Then, articulating them assertively by speaking about oneself (using “I”). For example, instead of saying “you’re annoying me,” say “I feel frustrated.”

Whether it’s about expressing satisfaction after a successful project or frustration, communicating feelings with clarity and precision (words carries different intensity: frustrated, angry, furious….) allows for a deeper mutual understanding.

3. N as Needs: Articulating needs 🗣️

It is essential to identify one’s underlying needs, behind the feelings, and share them constructively. Find a way you’re comfortable with to express them. For example, “it’s important for me as an individual, that we…”, “In my role, I need us to work collaboratively this way, because it’s important that we …”.

Whether it’s the need for support, respect, or autonomy, expressing your needs allows both you and the other person to acknowledge them and find solutions that meet the needs of both parties.

4. R as Request: Making clear requests 🙏

The art of making requests opens doors to get a way forward. Be precise, compassionate, and willing to negotiate, or hear a “no”. When your request is expressed with clarity and respect, you increase your chances of getting a “yes.” It can be an open (more collaborative approach) or closed question (if you already have a proposal).

For example, “next time, could we have a briefing together to align on messages before the meeting?”, “what do you think we could do?”.

A well-formulated request creates an environment which fosters collaboration and collaborative problem-solving.

In Conclusion

How does that look like?

Using the NVC approach in our relationships promotes assertive and effective communication, focusing on mutual understanding of each other’s feelings and needs. This fosters collaborative problem-solving and enables more harmonious human relationships. Happy experimenting!

Photo from Nappy

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